why do people sext

Why Do People Sext? The Benefits of Sexting in a Relationship

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Have you ever wondered why do people sext? I have – and it wasn’t until I explored my sexual imagination with my partner through sexting when I realized just how compelling it can be!

people sext
Sexting is a bonding experience for many couples

People sext because it releases sexual-tension, provides stimulation, and increases overall well-being and happiness. Sexting may also occur out of curiosity, sensuality exploration, or other similar desires.

6 Benefits of Sexting in a Relationship

1. Sparks Sexual Imagination

Sexting supports couples explore their sexual imagination through a spark of curiosity and fascination. It’s through this journey where participating in sexting provides the space to discuss fantasies that may not otherwise be discussed in person.

When sexting, hardly any topics are off-limits! Meaning this provides you the opportunity to explore your sexual imagination together, in a safe conversation, with your partner.

woman sexting
Sexting improves communication

Desires such as watching ethical porn together, fantasizing over new positions, and discussing steamy sex-ideas can bring an entirely diverse spin on the relationship. (In a healthy way too!)

2. Strengthens the Connection

Another reason why couples choose to sext is that it strengthens the connection in relationships. Sexting is a private and personal exchange that requires trust and openness from one another. When you feel comfortable enough to sext with your partner, you’re both developing a closer bond- whether you realize it or not.

3. Relieves Stress 

Did you know that sexting relieves stress? Many couples enjoy sexting with one another because it helps reduce stress and supports them throughout the day.

Just like the impact of having sex, sexting raises your hormones and can significantly boost your mood. This is why sexting can be extremely helpful when you’re craving a secret “perk-up” from your partner.

why do people sext
The thrill of receiving a sext from your partner in the middle of the day!

4. Enhances Creativity in the Bedroom

It’s no surprise that sexting leads to an enhancement of creativity in the bedroom because your sexual-imagination is running wild. When in the heat of the moment, people can find themselves sexting all-kinds of desires- even fantasies that haven’t been openly discussed yet.

Here are some examples of creative sex-ideas your imagination might enjoy when sexting:

  • Roleplay – Doctor and nurse? School-teacher and student?
  • Using a vibrator, lube, or similar sex toys
  • Public sex
  • New positions
  • Oral sex
  • Intimate touching

Recommended Read: What To Use Instead of a Vibrator: 14 Household Items You Can Use in Place of a Vibrator

5. Develops a Trusting Partnership

Sexting is one of the many activities that can help couples develop a more trusting partnership – but only in conjunction with other considerations. When a couple can communicate with one another and openly discuss concerns, sexting can be a great way to develop each other’s trust further.

Because sexting is such an intimate and personal activity, you should ensure healthy communication has been established first, to avoid any unprecedented awkwardness.

Why do people sext
Sexting is a good way to stay connected when physically apart

Not only does sexting help with trust in a partnership, but it also promotes confidence, freedom, and faith in the relationship.

6. Improves Communication

Sexting facilitates the improvement of communication in relationships – as it’s a language used to accommodate emotional desires. When you can’t tend to your partner in a physically sexual manner, sexting becomes the ideal solution.

One of the reasons why people choose to sext is because it allows an honest development for sexual communication to brew – which helps couples specifically that lack such openness.

Does Sexting Help Long-Distance Relationships?

Long-distance relationships are no different than regular-relationships – apart from the fact that you’re geographically separated from one another. Sexting can help couples in long-distance relationships satisfy sexual urges, so long as the relationship has a strong foundation.

If a long-distance relationship already has adequate trust, communication, openness, and confidence – then sexting will certainly help maintain those essentials. However, relying on sexting to provide those things to the relationship might be a bit of a long-shot.

People in long-distance relationships choose to sext for reasons such as:

  • The inability to physically have sex
  • A way to maintain relationship happiness
  • Build trust and develop a deeper connection
  • Deepen communication
  • Satisfy their partner’s sexual desires
Why do people sext
Sexting is healthy but not entirely risk-free

Frequently Asked Questions

Is sexting healthy?

Sexting can be a healthy activity, so long as intentions are positive and have been considered prior. Consent and trust are an important part of any sexual relationship and sexting is no exception.  

Will sexting lead to cheating?

Many factors determine whether sexting will lead to cheating or not. Factors such as beliefs, the overall healthiness of the relationship, and other similar issues should be considered.

Is sexting safe?

Sexting can be sexy without naked images. Words and sensual clothing can be just as arousing! But what if we take our clothes off?

When images are exchanged online, they are out there in the virtual world! Whilst risks can be minimized – strong passwords, no facial exposure, and a trustworthy partner- they can’t be completely eliminated.

It is important that you ask yourself how you would feel if the worst-case scenario happened and your images were leaked! Always consider the risk of exposure before deciding whether sexting is the right activity to partake in.

Sexting Stories

The below sexting story was submitted by a reader who prefers to remain anonymous

How I got into sexting with a stranger?

“I’m hard”

He suddenly said changing direction to what, until then, was a pretty standard chat on a dating platform.

I knew I had two choices: a) block him there and then or b) get inundated by unsolicited dick pics and creepy requests to reciprocate.

sext with a stranger
Sexting is about exploring your sexuality

Well, blocking him would have been the reasonable thing to do, but a strange adolescence-like desire to be naughty kicked in and it didn’t take long to get pictures of his ‘hard one’!

That was the beginning of my week of sexting adventure with a stranger!

Did he turn me on? No, not really!

What really turned me on was the chance to play with my own sexuality as I was showing images of my naked body to a stranger online.

Between full-time parenting and full-time work, opportunities to feel sexy are quite rare.

I decided I should just enjoy and quickly went in front of the mirror to unbutton my top for my first shot. Many more shots followed.

Hair strategically wildly placed covering my face. Bra was still on. I wasn’t fully naked. Yet, it was a very suggestive shot. Before sending, I did the editing: crop here, filter there and voilà! With a little bit of fear and a very high dose of thrill, I sent! 

It was ecstasy and I was hooked. 

Predictably, he loved it and I got to see more of him too.

I knew that was just the beginning and that my bra and all of the rest were soon to get stripped off in front of my camera-phone.

I talked to a close friend of mine about sexting and its risks. He was supportive but had a wise advice for me.

“Do what you want but no face, never.” I followed his instructions.

The following day, more requests came from him.

And there I was taking my bra off, shooting, cropping, playing with filters, lights and shadows. A few seconds later and send button pressed, my sexting friend was introduced to my breasts.

From there, things got worse. Or did they get better? 

I became a complete exhibitionist and could not stop taking sexy pictures. It was powerfully addictive. The adrenaline rush was too good to stop.

sexy selfie for sexting
Sexy selfie

I would get my quick fix in the bathroom at work or lock myself in my bedroom with my six year old knocking outside. I needed that next shot and the one after.

By then, he was sending me videos of himself ‘masturbating for me’. During that week of intense sexting, I was receiving two or three videos every day!

I asked him whether he was always like that. He said that he was ‘hard all the time’ since he started sexting with me and no, he did not recall masturbating two or three times a day every day ever.

Who knows if he was telling the truth? I couldn’t care less.

I couldn’t wait for the weekend to have more time to feed my addiction.

It was then that I carefully planned my photo session which started with a ‘see-through’ white summer dress and a bright red lipstick (his favourite).

I went on and got the top slightly wet so that my nipples would be visible. I lifted the skirt to shoot my downstairs (no undies). I decided to send those on before proceeding with a full body shot.

To my disappointment, I didn’t hear back from him.

It was a cold shower. I so wanted another shot. I so craved that high.

Later that day, he told me he actually wanted to meet me, and sexting was no longer enough.

I had absolutely no desire of meeting him in real life. There was no doubt in mind I wasn’t interested in him. I have always found that men who send unsolicited dick photos to be creepy.

I was back to reality. My week of sexting was coming to an end!

I remembered the words of Anais Nin: “Anything I cannot transform into something marvellous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another.” 

It was time for me to escape.

 As for why do people sext, I can tell you the facts and the benefits of sexting for me:

  1. It helped me to love my body 
  2. Being an exhibitionist is fun and addictive
  3. Sexting with a stranger is unlikely to lead to a relationship
  4. I would never physically meet a man who sends unsolicited dick pictures

Are there risks? Maybe.

Am I scared? I would hate if photos I have taken within a private context between two people were shared without my consent.

Yes, these photos, although exchanged in the virtual world, are private. Hence, their disclosure would be a violation of my privacy.

Part of me does fear but I know that fear is based on stigma and negative attitudes towards women’s body and sexuality.

Sex before marriage used to be a taboo. Heterosexuality was the only accepted sexuality. We used to believe that female sexual pleasure did not exist (or it wasn’t important). The list goes on.

We came out, we talked, we raged, we achieved ‘some’ progress. It is time that we start coming out and saying it out and loud. I have done it, I enjoy it, I own my body. I sext. 

Why do people sext? Because it is fun. 

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