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Ride-on sex machines are not your ordinary vibrator!
They aren’t cheap and they aren’t quite what I would recommend as a beginner’s vibrator, but for those who are up for the ride (and can afford the price), they are a lot of fun!
If you have not encountered them in magazines, then you have probably seen clips of one or two in use, or even fantasized about them…
Compared to vibrators and dildos, hands-free sex machines have an automatic motor that releases powerful vibrations that give you sexual pleasure. You only have to sit on top of it and it’ll ride you away to a dreamy climax.
Then let me take you on a short tour, best explaining what sex machines do, how to use them, and the best brands in the market right now.
But, first off…
What Is A Sex Machine?
Many would differ on the actual definition of a sex machine, arguing that vibrators fall in the same category.
A sex machine is a hands-free sexual stimulator with a motor and mechanical parts that create mechanical thrusts (mimicking penetrative sex) so you don’t have to worry about manually stimulating yourself or manually holding positioning a vibrator that does it.
Sex machines are really about you enjoying the ride and doing nothing else!
A lot of sex machines reassemble a ‘mechanic bull’ where you sit and go for a ride, except that, instead of being designed to knock you down, it’s designed to give you pleasure.
Most automated sex machines require you to assemble them upon purchase and come with lots of included surprises including packed dildos, lubes, and whatnot.
The best thing about owning a sex machine is that you can automatically set the pace of your thrusts and customize them as you go.
A quality sex machine can be your ride or die for your solo missions to Orgasmville or added into the mix when you and your partner want to taste a different kind of vanilla.
What Are the Best Sex Machines for Women?
Let’s explore three of the top sex machines that have still managed to keep a majority of women happy to this moment.
So, brace yourself – the ride might get bumpy…
- Saddle-like design
- Up to 1200 rpm
- Easy-to-clean casing
- Comes with 2 dildo attachments
- Can be paired with App
The Cowgirl is not for the faint of heart! It’s also an investment! But, if you are up for it, there’s a lot going for this ride-one sex machine!
Hop on for the ride of your life on one of the finest modern sex machines on the market. It is specially crafted like a saddle to keep you tucked in and well-padded so you’ll be bouncing back and forth like the naughty cowgirl you are.
Not to mention…
The saddle is made from premium vegan leather that is so easy to clean and doesn’t stain like ordinary fabrics. You can tell at first glance that every feature has been intentionally designed for unparalleled comfort.
Not only does it look sexy, but the seat also feels amazing, with little bumpers that keep you sturdy on the Cowgirl. It helps you remain stable even during the wildest rides.
Now here’s the best part…
The dildo is perfectly angled so it hits just the right spots (you know which), and the seat is textured so you are not sliding off when the ride gets bumpy. What’s more, you also get two of these attachments when you order.
Now, how about that?
You can switch up the pace across 6 vibrating patterns, and the dildo base swivels at 360 degrees – adding more flames to your fireworks. This engineering marvel is ultra powerful coming in hot at 1200 rpm; enough to last you ‘till you tap out.
Nevertheless, how do you control it?
There are two ways to give yourself complete control over this naughty beast. You can either use the wired remote or your smartphone.
The smartphone app for iOS and Android gives you and/or your partner control over the power, rotation, and patterns from up to 30 feet away.
This bad girl ain’t cheap, however, it can be paid for in interest-free installments. So don’t worry about getting the entire cost upfront.
Want to see how it works? Check out the video below!
- Inflatable body design
- Has 3 handles for extra stability
- Standard 6-inch dildo included
- Great for solo or couple plays
- Budget Option!
Fetish Fantasy inflatable ride on love log comes in to spare your pillow the agony of enduring your strap-ons and extra weight.
The plush portable pillow measures 32 inches in length, is 12 inches tall and is 39.5 inches in diameter. You can bet she can take all your weight and not budge an inch while still rocking you like that earthshaking Queen song.
It’s super soft to the touch and has three handles on different sides. This means you can grip her from the front or sideways depending on how you want to be rocked.
With that out in the open…
This is where I introduce you to this sex machine’s effective vibrating dildo that works magic once in contact with your sweet spots. The 6-inch projectile is your ticket to endless orgasms, crafted to feel and look like the real thing.
…Well apart from the color, of course.
The only downside to this amazing cushion is that it only comes with a wired remote control.
Still, that’s not as bad as it sounds, since it is loaded with multiple speeds and vibration patterns that sync with your different moods. You can take it slow if you’re feeling tired or grind hard to a blissful climax one crazy Saturday night.
And the best part?
You can use it alone, or add it to your couples’ bonding sessions.
Also, this is a rare case of a budget option in the world of sex machines!
Just lube up and hop on baby.
- Comfortable chair saddle
- Includes a 7-inch dildo
- Easy to maintain
- Holds up to 400 lbs in weight
On this mechanical version of your erotic desires, you either go hard or go home. There’s no in-between when it comes to the Cloud 9 heavy-duty stunner.
The F-slider is designed like a chair-saddle with oversized cushion seats so you feel like you are literally floating on clouds. Bring life and satisfaction to this fantastic sex machine using your body movements to generate the desired feeling from the dildo nesting directly underneath you.
You can either use the included 7-inch dildo or attach a suction cup dildo with your own specifications on the universal vac-u-lock dildo mount.
Thankfully, the many heavy-duty components on this mean machine are top-quality and will rarely break down. So you don’t have to worry about the machine going burst in the middle of a – ahem – run.
Just position yourself steadily on top, hold on tight to its contoured handles, and thrust your way to a powerful climax.
If you are thinking “I’m plus size, how will this thing hold up?” Well, hold that thought…
The Cloud-9 framework has been tested and can hold up to 400 pounds, coming with a 90-day warranty in case your experience proves them wrong.
And as a bonus, the manufacturers solved the storage issue for you by including a storage cover in every order. The cover will help you keep the unit stashed safely away from prying eyes until the next time you need it.
So, what are you waiting for?
In terms of pricing, this machine falls into a middle-of-the-range investment, providing great value for money.
Types of Sex Machines
There are different sex machines out in the market and it is best to find one that works for you.
Depending on your overall freak, there is a sex machine that levels and even surpasses your wildest imaginations.
Here are the four main types to pick from:
These are very simple machines, but very effective if you like pleasuring your clit at high speeds. They usually consist of a motor, thrusting rod, dildo, and adjustable stands.
They are also the smallest versions of sex machines and are travel-safe if you move around a lot.
Some of them are even double-sided, so you can get down and dirty with a partner. The only downside is that some of them are slightly loud, but not the high-end ones.
2. DIY Sex Machines
This is for all of you creatives who like to build and assemble your own pleasure devices. DIYing comes in where people put together a few parts and come up with ingenious sex machines.
To know which parts you will need for your machine and how to put them all together, you may check out MachineYourself and who knows…
You might be the next big sex engineer.
3. Saddle Sex Machine
Saddle sex machines are the epitome of erotic fairytales. They are the most powerful versions of handheld vibrators since they come strapped to a saddle with all the fancy bells and whistles.
All you have to do is sit tight and let the rhythm take control with adjustable speeds, patterns, and even rocking sequences. Most of them come with two dildo settings, Vibrate and Twirl, which is a 360-rotation pattern at set speeds.
The only misgiving about saddles is that they are bulky, so once you bring him home, he’s there to stay.
Unlike the previous types of sex machines, gliders are mountable machines that use your body movements instead of motor-generated thrusts.
They offer a more natural feel, giving you ultimate control over the speed and vigor of the penetrations. They also give you more customizable features such as the choice of dildo.
As long as it is compatible with the vac-u-lock feature, then you are good to go.
What Do I Have To Gain from Having A Sex Machine?
These fascinating contraptions have so much to offer if you use them correctly.
So what do they offer? Why would someone use a machine to stimulate themselves?
Hold onto your hats and let me educate you a little.
- Sexual exploration. With a sex machine, find out what makes you moan. Change the speeds to discover what makes you run wild and the positions that reveal your inner demon. Tour all your erogenous zones and find what works or doesn’t work for your clit or rim.
- Pleasure control. A sex machine doesn’t grumble and is always in the mood to wreak sweet havoc on your insides. You can take control of your sensations and dictate your own terms all through the adventure.
- Tension reliever. When your day has used you as a punching bag, name a better way to tone down and get back in your groove than a session on your sex machine. Just set it up, hop on and with the flick of a button, you will be riding your way into a good evening.
- Maintain long-distance relationships. For couples who don’t meet regularly due to various reasons, sex machines help to close that gap. Some of these machines are app-controlled, so your partner can take the reins while you are on the receiving end from halfway across the globe.
- Kills the monotony. Long-term relationships are amazing, but some of us may get tired of having sex with the same person, and if they are sloppy in bed, it’s even worse. Instead of cheating with another human, a sex machine can give you different feelings whenever you feel trapped in a monotonous sexual cycle.
Sex Machines for Women – Frequently Asked Questions
Are Sex Machines Loud?
Many sex machines are loud.
In general, anything with a motor is loud enough to be heard in the next room, but with sex machines, the manufacturers tend to tone down the motors so your nosy neighbors stay out of the loop.
Still, you’ll discover that most high-end sex machines are subtle and not as very loud as the cheaper-retailing options.
How Do I Use A Sex Machine?
Different sex machines are used differently according to the design type and functionality you are after.
Thrusters can be used in a variety of positions; while sitting down, on all fours, or on your back; the possibilities are endless.
Saddlers and gliders, on the other hand, will have you fully mounting the machine.
What Should I Look for In A Sex Machine?
This is what you should look for when shopping for a sex machine to make sure it serves you for a long time…
First, the quality of the materials will determine how long the machine will last. Low-grade material may break or get worn out, reducing its life span.
Also, make sure the components are made from body-safe materials such as silicone to avoid skin infections and irritations.
You would also want to take your tech savviness into consideration. Some people prefer high-tech equipment while the old school fans prefer simple contraptions without too much tech stuff dictating their success.