What Is Slow Sex

What Is Slow Sex? Tips and Benefits of Having Slow Sex

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Do you ever feel caught up in the busyness of life and, with all that go-go-go, you almost forget to enjoy the simple pleasures?

I certainly do!

Slowing down and enjoying the beauty of the moment may sound a bit cheesy, but I certainly am guilty of not doing that often enough. And that applies to sex too!

Every now and then, I need to make a conscious effort to have slow sex.

Related Article: What is OM (Orgasmic Meditation)?

What Is Slow Sex?

Slow sex is a type of sex in which you take things slower than the usually heated ‘pump and grind’ sex. The aim of slow sex is to create a deeper intimate connection and savor the full experience and sensation that intimacy brings to our body and soul.

The term “slow” in Slow Sex refers to the pace at which sex is done and the importance of every single step of the process.

Once you let your body free and let your partner explore your body, you will be surprised at how sensational and pleasant this form of sex is.

While, in this article, we will focus on Slow Sex for couples, I firmly believe that you don’t need a partner to have slow sex. Masturbation in slow and mindful mode can be an equally deep and rich experience – with or without sex toys.

Couple Enjoying Time Together

How to Have Slow Sex

It’s always a battle between the mind and body since there’s confusion about what the mind thinks of and what the body wants to do.

So, no need to rush things.

Here’s a quick guide to what to do and what not to when having slow sex:

a. Focus On Your Imagination

The mind is key to giving you the best sex experiences – if used well.

Always focus on creating fantasies with your partner and enjoy their company as you explore the different angles of each one’s body.

Make yourselves free to try out new flavors with your partner and you will eventually experience those bomb orgasms you’ve always dreamt of.


For this to work, you need to clear your mind and rid of any form of distraction that may hinder you from focusing. 

b. Prolong Your Foreplay

Sex begins when you decide to get intimate with your partner.

Exploring each other’s body is very important as it stimulates and prepares both of you for the action to come.

Don’t be in a rush to get into the main event as it always cuts short the experience; making your overall achievement pale in score.

Instead, concentrate on slow touches and caresses to lay the foundation for the intense slow action to come. 

Double the time you do your foreplay, you won’t regret.

Couple Enjoying Massage

c. Titillate Your Senses

Sex is not all about touching. Be keen on the tastes and preferences of your partner’s sexual quirks to ensure both of you are in tune.

Aim at putting all your senses to work i.e., the smell, sound, touch, and visual cues.

You can spice up things using massage oils and even soft sweet music for the occasion.

d. Practice Edging

Edging is like practically sharpening your sword before that final blow. Slow sex gives you the perfect opportunity to train yourself to hold climaxing till all parties feel the need to release. 

Does it help?

Yes- Delaying your climax often leads to an intense sensual build-up that leads to the best orgasms when finally released. 

That is the ultimate reward of slow sex (and any other type of sex, for that matter) which crowns the patience and skill (once learned) required for this alternative art of love making.

What Are Slow Sex Tips?

Here are some other tips you should keep in mind when having slow sex:

1. Kiss More

Make it a routine to kiss and make out frequently during your gentle rumble. 

Try to discover other ways of improving your kissing skills by using oil on your body and lips or even better using flavored lip balm/gloss.

2. Engage in Teasers

An alternative way of having slow sex is by playing hard to get by teasing and making your partner earn their climax.

This is also the perfect avenue to spice up your edging skills before that explosive orgasm at the end.

3. Experiment With Lubricants

Apply lubes on the edges and curves of your partner like the lower back, neck, inner thighs, and hips.

This will help enhance your foreplay touches and create more sensual excitement when you finally start the slow grind – extending the time for sex.

4. Make Eye Contact 

Making eye contact gives you a chance to create deeper connections and love between you and your partner.

Other than that…

Maintaining eye contact when having slow sex shows there is a deep exchange of emotions, and an intense sexual bond at play.

5. Alternate Strokes 

Switching between short and long strokes helps you last longer than anticipated which might also be exciting for your partner too. 

The other pointer is that it helps create variety – which also brings spice when making love.

6. Take Deep Breaths

You should give close attention to how fast you breathe to avoid climaxing when you are not ready.


Try calming your breath when approaching ejaculation to help ease you into the release.

Lesbian Couple Kissing

Benefits of Having Slow Sex

Why should you try slow sex? 


1. It Helps Improve Communication

Slow sex gives you confidence to speak about your fantasies and desires which will strengthen your bonds.

This type of communication helps make every party involved comfortable in the long run.

2. Lasts Longer

Who doesn’t want to last longer? The good news is that you’re bound to have longer sex if you incorporate foreplay in your ‘itinerary’.

The slower rhythm during slow sex naturally extends the amount of time it’ll take you to orgasm.

Need I say more than that?

3. You Will Have More Time for Exploration

Slow sex gives couples enough time to explore each other’s bodies for more creative sessions.

A lot of slow, physical touch and massages create a calming environment which in turn allows partners to trust and submit without fear.

4. Experience More Sensational Orgasms 

Slow sex will always make your body feel more relaxed. This creates pleasure pots, as explained above, that will automatically increase the intensity at which you orgasm.

5. Lower Stress and Blood Pressure Levels

Interestingly, slow sex causes low levels of stress when the endorphins and phenyl-ethylamine hormones get released.

These hormones cause your arteries to become more relaxed leading to a lowering of the blood pressure.

Even better…

The oxytocin hormone, when secreted during orgasm in women, also causes the blood pressure to lower.

6.Discover New Erogenous Zones

Slow sex gradually makes you and your partner discover new parts/areas of your bodies that arouses pleasure when stimulated properly.

7. Discover New Stimulus and New Positions

Slowing down gives you and your partner the ability to be creative while exploring each other’s body during sex.

If you’re looking to spice things up with your partner as you explore different paths, I recommend adding toys, vibrators, blindfolds, restraints, and whip cream to the mix and break the monotony.

Is Slow Sex Better?

According to a study done in 2012, 23.8% of men enjoyed slow sex more than women who preferred faster sex.


A good number of women (17.2%) preferred slow sex and they were bold enough to mention that they only squirt during slow sex.

Besides being hot and sweet, it is very difficult to get blisters during the slow play. This is because during slow sex ladies stay wet for a long period hence reduced friction.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What Is Tantric Sex?

Tantric sex is a form of sex done slowly and in a meditative way, much like slow sex to some extent. The end goal here is to enjoy the sensations on your body and the journey. 

It’s not to just orgasm.

The main aim of tantric sex is to move the sexual enerdy through your body for enlightenment, transformation, and healing.

Interestingly enough, tantric sex supporters believe that its techniques might help solve sexual complications such as anorgasmia, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction.

However, there’s yet any official research to back this claim up.

2. What Is the Impact of Slow Sex?

Slow sex essentially strengthens emotional bonds and connections between partners.

In eventuality, it helps you maintain a healthy level of love, belongingness, and intimacy which is critical for all human beings.

Slow sex also helps manage stress as captured in this article. It reduces the secretion of flight hormones e.g., adrenaline and cortisol, that create physiological stress responses like increased blood pressure and exhaustion.