How To Use A Vibrator During Sex

By Alice

February 28, 2020

couples, during sex

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Vibrators shouldn’t be something you hide at the bottom of a drawer and only use by yourself. They are, admittedly, excellent for solo sessions, but they also add an extra something when you’re having sex with your partner as well. And it isn’t just women who can feel all the pleasure of a vibe. Men can get extra stimulation from them too. 

You can check the best vibrators for couples here, however, in this article, we’ll talk mostly on how to use vibrators for male/female couples. There are many vibrators that are perfect for other relationships, and sexual experiences, including some of the ones mentioned here. 

There’s a plethora of different vibrators available, and some of them are definitely better suited for alone time pleasure. Others can work better for foreplay, but there are some that are designed to give both partners increased pleasure during penetrative sex. 

Using a Vibrator During Sex – Introducing Toys

Introduce sex toys into relationship

With so many different toys available, there are absolutely ones that can be a little less intimidating for beginners. You and your partner need to start with toys that you feel comfortable with. Anything that’s going to be too much, or the downright scary is definitely not the way to start off. 

There’s a few ways to use vibrators as an easy introduction:

1. Erogenous Zones

Both female and male bodies have other sensitive areas that send shockwaves of pleasure through the body. Some of these areas may not seem hugely obvious, so exploring each other’s bodies with a vibrator can produce some interesting results. 

A bullet vibe is a good choice for this. It’s small, compact, and some of them are shaped quite like a finger. Starting slowly can also help you both figure out what you like, and what you don’t like. 

2. Share Masturbation

Another good way to introduce vibrators into your sex life is by masturbation. It might seem a little against what we’re saying, but it can help your partner to see what you like, and vice versa. 

You, or your partner, could just use the vibrator as you would normally on your own, but your partner would be watching or even assisting you. Try a massage wand, like the Bed Geek wand, for this as it’s a good way to show your partner how gentle, or not you prefer to use the vibe. 

3. Oral Sex

Use a vibrator during oral sex for extra stimulation

Oral sex should be fun anyway, but adding a vibrator to the mix can create a powder keg of sensation. There are a few ways to do this. 

You could use a small vibrator on the outside of your cheek when you’re giving your partner a blow job. It increases the sensations he feels, and combined with the wetness of your mouth, creates an amazing environment. 

Another way would be to try a clitoral vibrator when he’s giving you oral sex. They’re perfect for extra clit stimulation and could be just enough to send you over the edge. The noise level of the vibe is important for this though. Your partner is going to be up close and personal with the vibe, and if it’s too loud, it can throw off his concentration. 

4. Vibrating Cock Rings

Vibrating cock rings are actually one of the most widely available sex toys. You can pick a relatively basic one up at many drugstores. There are many different types. 

If this is something that’s quite new to your partner, then you might be better choosing one made from soft silicone. A cock ring can increase the pleasure for the man, but it can also help delay orgasm. When he does have an orgasm, it tends to be a little more intense than other orgasms. 

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For the woman, it’s all about the vibrating bullet. The bullet is held in a sleeve that is attached to the cock ring, and provides some incredible clitoral stimulation. Some have a textured or ribbed sleeve which can add to the pleasure.

The important thing to remember when using a cock ring is that the penis should be flaccid or semi-erect. It can be more difficult, or even a bit painful to put one on a fully erect penis. The other important tip is to use lube!

Heating Things Up

As you and your partner get more confident about including toys, you can start to branch out to more complex vibrators, or using them in new ways.

Give Over Control

Remote control vibrators allow you to give your partner control. These vibrators usually have multiple functions and speed settings. Give the remote control to your partner, and let them decide what sensations, speeds, and pulses you’re going to feel. 

This can be a little difficult, especially if you’re really in control of your daily life, but letting go of that can give you an incredibly sensual experience.

Finish With A Vibe

Many men orgasm faster than women. If that happens in your relationship, your partner could use a vibrator to help you reach orgasm. This can be a good time to try out a new vibrator or one with functions that you haven’t tried before. For a more intense orgasm, try a G – Spot vibrator.

Couples Toys

There are very few women who can orgasm through penetration alone. It feels good, but it’s often not enough on its own. Clitoral stimulation can be what takes you over the line. This could be where couples vibes come in.

Some couples vibrators are designed to fit in between your bodies and give extra pleasure. While they are usually designed for a woman’s pleasure, some men can get pleasurable feelings from the vibrations too. Others say that the vibe helps them hold back their orgasm – so win-win!

Best Positions for Couples to Use Sex Toys

Some positions naturally make it easier to use a vibrator during sex. Here a few different positions for couples to use sex toys:

Spooning

Spooning, with your partner behind you, feels comforting, but when you have sex in this position, it frees up his (or yours) hand to reach around to stimulate your clit. A flat-faced clitoral vibe is perfect for helping with this. 

Cowgirl

Cowgirl position is great for using a sex toy during intercourse

The cowgirl position is a favorite for many women, because with you on top, it allows you to control the speed and depth. It’s also a really good position for adding a vibrator into the mix. Your partner could hold a wand vibrator and use it to caress your thighs, before using it for clit teasing. You still have control for speed, and depth, but the added sensations can up the intensity.

Reverse Cowgirl

The reverse cowgirl is the same as the cowgirl, but instead of facing your partner, you’ll be facing his legs and feet. This position gives new and different sensations, and it allows you to use different motions. Instead of thrusting, try grinding, and use a vibrating cock ring, or a bullet vibrator to stimulate the clitoris.

Lean On Something

Sex is great in a bedroom – you’ve got a bed, and a door with a lock! But the other furniture in your home is just as capable of providing a fun new surface for your sexual adventures. Some furniture, and the positions you can achieve on them, are perfect for you, your partner, and a vibrating friend. 

Stay Home

You could try leaning over a couch, and using it to help keep your vibrator in place. It keeps your hands, and your partner’s hands-free, and lets you touch each other. A flat-faced vibrator is a perfect choice for this.

Another option is to stand facing the shower, use it for support with one hand, and keep your vibrator in the other. Your partner could also reach around and use the vibrator on you. Worried about the water? Nowadays, you can find a wide range of sex toys that are fully waterproof. Speaking of water… have we mentioned that showerheads and water jets are great clit stimulators?

How To Talk To Your Partner About Sex Toys

How to talk to partner about sex toys

If you want to add sex toys into the bedroom, you need to talk to your partner about it first. Nobody wants to be surprised by another party in bed! If you’re not sure if your partner would be into the idea, talking about it can seem hugely overwhelming. Here’s a few top tips on how to get the conversation going. 

1. Timing Matters

Timing is everything. Especially when you’re starting this type of conversation. Try to pick a time when you’re both relaxed. The obvious choice would seem to be after you’ve had sex, but it may not be. Your partner could feel that you’re unhappy with his sexual performance, which is not the way you want this conversation to go.

If you do start the conversation in bed, either before or after sex, make sure you’re complimentary about his prowess. Make it clear that this isn’t something he’s doing wrong, it’s just about giving you both new sensations, and pleasures in bed.

2. Choose Your Words

How you say things could be just as important as when you say them. Explain to your partner how a toy could help keep things fresh in bed. It’s not about replacing him, or replacing the intimacy you share, but, again this is about having new sexual experiences together.

3. Research Together

Invite your partner to look at toys with you. Find a reputable store, and browse through the products. Stores usually have sections or collections of toys, so look at the ones they recommend for beginners and for couples.

4. Talk About It Afterwards

Discuss the experience with your partner after. If it didn’t work for you, say it. Tell him what you liked and didn’t like, and ask him what he thought. Nobody benefits from faking a good experience.

The most important thing with any sexual experience is that you both enjoy it. Take your time, explore, and figure it out together.

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