how to use a vibrator with my girlfriend
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How to use a vibrator on your girlfriend? 7 steps for Vanilla couples

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My tips on how to use a vibrator on your girlfriend are very much for vanilla cis couples. Maybe non-cis couples could draw some inspiration from it, however, this article is based on my own experiences (as a cis woman) with my (cis male) partner. 

how to use a vibrator on your girlfriend
Should you buy your girlfriend a vibrator? I am glad my partner did!

Have you ever wondered if you should buy your girlfriend a vibrator? I can tell you, I am so glad my husband did just that!

My first experience with vibrators as a ‘couple’s toy’ came when my husband Jack bought us a vibrator. I was recovering from surgery ‘down there’ and my sexual life was to be penetration-free during that time. 

Clitoral stimulation was the only option for me and, to be honest, I wasn’t complaining! 

Here are pretty much the steps we went through!

1. Ask your girlfriend the question – do you want a vibrator? 

Having sex is something most couples do but rarely reflect upon or, let alone, talk in-depth about. I am certainly guilty of that and it is not necessarily a terrible thing. That doesn’t mean your chat needs to be heavy-loaded. In fact, it can be a lot of fun!

In my case, Jack just said: ‘Do you want to try using a vibrator?’ 

I quickly agreed that trying out a vibrator as a couple would be a nice experiment. 

Could a vibrator be a nice surprise? For me, it would have been, but, unless your girlfriend has mentioned that she would like one, it is best to check. I don’t recommend you gift her an ‘unannounced’ vibrator as it could lead to misunderstanding. 

consent-and-communication-between-couples
Consent and communication are always important. Gifting a vibrator is no exception

Consent and communication should be always widely practiced! Gifting a vibrator is no exception.

2. Choose a vibrator that could suit you as a couple

It is no surprise that using a vibrator solo is somewhat different to using it with your partner.

As a solo user you will always be operating that vibe (unless it’s a hands-free device), but with your partner, it is likely they will also spend sometime operating your sex toy. 

So, you really need to think about vibrators for couples and not necessarily for solo-use, although many vibes will be great for both types of use.

The other thing you may consider is that you and your partner may take turns being the operator and the recipient of pleasant vibrations! My husband Jack has quite developed a taste for bullet vibrators being used around the testicles! Other possibility is to go for a hands-free device to be used during penetration, such as Dame Eva II.

The recommendation here is to have a chat about what you think you will like: clit sucking devices, bullet vibrators, personal massagers, etc. Although not my personal favorites, some couples love cock rings and anal stimulators. Between consenting adults, the sky’s the limit. 

If you don’t want to take the risk and spend a huge amount of money on something you are not so sure, the good news is there are great budget vibrators on the market.

3. Other things to consider when choosing a vibrator

Personally, I prefer USB rechargeable sex toys as dealing with a cord can be painful enough as a solo experience, with two bodies to get caught, it is a no-no for me. 

Another thing I like to consider is the waterproof status. Although not a deal breaker, waterproof sex toys are much easier to clean and a lot of them can be used in the bath or shower. 

4. Use sex pillows to help 

When Jack started using vibrators on me, one of the biggest challenges was for him to be comfortable and be able to reach the desired area. Sex pillows such as the Liberator Wedge or Dame’s Pillo can make a huge difference in propping up your body. 

liberator sex wedge pillow
Using a vibrator gets easier and comfortable with a ‘sex wedge’ pillow

If you don’t a pillow that is specifically for sex, extra pillows could do the trick, although they are considerably softer, making it easier to ‘sinking down’ rather then ‘propping up’.  

5. Get ready

Charge, charge, charge! Assuming you will get a USB rechargeable vibrator, make sure it is charged! There’s nothing more frustrating than running out of battery when you are about to climax! 

As part of your prep work, make sure you have lube! Lots of lube! Most sex toys manufacturers recommend a water-based lube for sex toys. 

Personally, I find lube even more important with sex toys due to the intense vibrations, my skin gets overheated pretty quickly needing constant lube top-ups. 

6. Try different things

I know this article is about using a vibrator on your girlfriend, but actually… it can be a lot of fun to get your partner to use a vibrator on you. 

7. Enjoy!

Frequently asked questions

How can I compete with my girlfriend’s vibrator?

You shouldn’t. Sex toys are built to provide powerful vibrations that often lead to quick orgasms but they will never replace human contact. Sharing the sex toy experience is a great way to bond with your partner. 

What type of vibrator is recommended for couples?

There is no one answer to that questions. In our case, we like personal massagers such as the Maude Vibe or the Zumio as they are easy to operate. For use, during penetrative sex, I love Dame Eva II. They work well both on my clit and around Jack’s testicles. So, it is a win-win for us.

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